Life Lessons

So, as of tomorrow, I will have been alive for 16 years. The little life lessons I have learnt in that time:

If you know you’re not going to able to wake up at 5:30 in the morning, then for Pete's sake, don’t set the alarm to ring at that time! You may think that maybe, maybe this time you’ll be able drag yourself out of your warm cozy bed, maybe. But you’ve never been able to, and it’s about time that you know you’ll always stay in bed until it is absolutely necessary that you get up.

Your grades in year 7 do not count in the real world. Neither do detentions. And surprise surprise, your future employer is not going to want to know what mark you got for your Science report either. Save yourself the eye bags for when you’re that rich and successful business woman. In the meantime, go to sleep.

Browsing clothes online has got to stop. It brings you nothing but depression for lack of affordability.

People change. So when your first ever best friend turns up with a boyfriend all of a sudden, don’t be offended. There is no need to remind her of that pact you made when you were eight about growing old together in the absence of the male specie.

Should you ever have the bright idea of stalking someone, then for the love of god, don’t tell them! You will only scare them off. It’s a natural reaction.

You and shopping trolleys. You guys are just not meant to be! Don't push it!

Next time you write yourself a sticky note reminder, make sure you actually understand the meaning behind the strange codes you make up for yourself. Honestly, “medi m+c” either means you can’t understand yourself, or you need to take mac and cheese as medication.

So your brother likes olives. Just because you picked them out everytime you ate your food when you were his age, doesn’t mean you get to steal his now!