on
Wednesday, May 13
Some of these trends are so sickening, I could grow bulimic just looking at them:
- Huge oversized fluoro/neon slogan shirts: especially the ones that say really stupid things like 'I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND/YOUR BOYFRIEND/EDWARD CULLEN/ETC'. A minimal amount of neon accessories are fine, but please do not wear a FLUORO PINK SHIRT that makes you look like a highlighter threw up all over you.
- Gladiator sandals: I'm sure everyone is pretty much sick of this now, it has been around for like a decade and people are still trotting around in them thinking they're so trendy and all. Sorry but gladiator sandals are no longer trendy, they were on the runway around 3 seasons around, they're not hot. In fact, they're more stale than my sense of humour, so please dump them in a bonfire and use them as fuel to toast your marshmallows.
- Denim-leggings: they look like a pair of jeans printed on a pair of leggings (no wait, they ARE a pair of jeans printed on a pair of leggings). They're a stupid excuse to not wear pants. You're better off just walking around in your panties.
- Crocs: They make you look like a teletubby, they're not cool or trendy or funny (that is, if you're trying to dress up as a teletubby and look funny). They may be comfortable, but save them for the living room, they look stupid.
- Ugg boots: ditto ditto
- 3/4 leggings: How can someone put on a pair of these and walk out of the house? Whether with a skirt or as an alternative for pants, ARE YOU FREAKING BLIND. Do you not comprehend that these 3/4 leggings make your legs look 7/4 times wider and 2/4 (or shall I say 1/2) times shorter, SO WHY?! How many times must I go through the fundamentals of lines: vertical lines make you look taller and thinner, horizontal lines make you look shorter and stumpier. You do not want a horizontal line cutting across your calves.
- Shutter glasses: They're impractical and look stupid. I don't get it. Do you get it? How are you supposed to see? What if you walk into a post box? What if you hug a stranger thinking he was your boyfriend? What if you trip over a speed hump and fall on your face and shatter your stupid shutter glasses and they explode and the shattered shutter glasses spear your eyeballs and then you're permanently blind and then you'd perpetually walk into post boxes and hug strangers and trip over speed humps?! IT'S AN INESCAPABLE CYCLE, don't wear shutter glasses.