Cruise!

I know I promised myself not to let last year repeat itself (last minute confusion where everyone ran around like headless chooks screaming and panicking), but I think I'm cursed. Last minute confusion follows me wherever I go. So even if I turn up to Jessica's house five hours before we were due to leave, something would inevitably happen in the last hour to screw everyone up. Of course, I was unaware of this when I first arrived.

We spent the first three hours prancing about and being silly. Which included clomping around the house wearing heels, taking ridiculous pictures in the shower, eating ramen while watching Up, and taking our time to slooooooowly paint our nails:

From left to right: Amanda, Jessica, me & Fiona.


Jess came up with this ridiculous idea- to stand in the shower and 'hang out', like it was the most ordinary thing in the world.




As two o clock came and passed (I was due to leave at three to get my makeup done by a professional), the panic started to kick in. It kicked in slowly, mind you, but everyone started getting jittery. And then it broke out into unleashed madness; people were queuing up to get their makeup done by yours truly, I was rushedly attempting to make everyone's makeup look symmetrical, my bunny ears (which I randomly decided to don for amusement's sake) got tangled in everything, and I accidently made Jess look like a crazy witch-lion (little did I know that half a can of hairspray + hanging upside down + blowdryer set on high is never a good combination)



If this was a story, the climax would kick in right about now.

I arrive with Jess and Soph to the makeup lady's house (we're already running late, I'm already freaking out because I freak out when I'm late), and there is a stupid sign on the door saying something along the lines of 'WHOOPSIES I HAVE SOME COMMITMENT MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOU, YOU WILL HAVE TO WAIT TO TOMORROW, BYE', or something like that. It probably wasn't that, but it sure made me pissed off. We drove around Bankstown looking for an alternative, finding nothing but a tranny make up artist, an African salon, and a handful of salons booked up for the night.

We came back to Jess' house in a flurry of screams and hairstraighteners and dodgy eyeliner and make up brushes.

The next hour was continued chaos- I had forgotten to do one of Shirley's eyes, my shoes were too big, my rings were too big, Van hadn't brought her money, Sophie hadn't brought her ID, Jessica still looked like a lion, and we had left Theresa Tran behind at Bankstown (how that happened, I do not know.)

We somehow managed to arrive at the station on time. Only to be greeted by a lot of stares, creepy people with camera phones, and to have an open can of pepsi hurled at us from an open train door (luckily, they missed).





We then had to make an adventerous trek of five blocks, yes five, in stiletto heels. Problems encountered: being stared at, being wolf whistled at, getting heels stuck in gridded escalator, growing tired of heels and running barefoot, being attacked by wind (only worsened by the amount of skyscrapers surrounding us), and having heels once again stuck, but this time in the gaps between the planks on the dock.

BUT! *TRIUMPHANT TRUMPET MUSIC PLAYS* We made it on time! As in, we weren't haggardly running onto the dock just as the boat sailed off. The rest of the night sort of melted away into delicious food (soaked in butter), non stop dancing and bopping and gyrating and grinding, and very numb feet.








Lessons learned:
1. I am cursed.
2. Dancing for three hours is not healthy for the foot. My toes pointed skywards for an hour after removing shoes
3. Red is a fantastic colour to wear- you can identify yourself in almost any photo because no one else wears red.