on
Wednesday, July 9
This morning when I was scanning over my Junkmail inbox, I found a pleasant surprise:
We are pleased to inform you of the final announcement of the UK ONLINE PROMOWow that's awfully nice of you, but seriously, I think I have won this lotto like three times in the past already?! And no offence, but if you're all that mighty and powerful with millions to offer me every month or so, why are you using Yahoo to email people? Shouldn't you have like a company email or something?
AWARDS, held on the 5th JULY, 2008. You have be awarded the sum of £1,200,000
POUNDS STERLING.
To process for your claim, you are advise to fill the form below and send to our
fiduciary agent for your Claims verification:
1. Full Names:
2. Address:
3. Age:
4. Sex:
5. Marital Status:
6. Occupation:
7. Phone numbers:
8. Country:
Mr Maron Alvis.
Email: processingunitt01@yahoo.com.hk
Yours Truly,
Co-ordinator(Online Promo Programme)
I swear, I have received phishing emails for even more absurd reasons:
Dear Friend,Good day to you too Mr Song Lile, while I would absolutely be thrilled to help you run your supposed bank, I am sorry to inform you that I would make a very very bad business partner, and I will run your business bankrupt (Have I mentioned that I don't pay attention in Commerce? I have absolutely no skills to help me run this business, and will be a nuisance to you). But if you still want to give me the money, I would ecstatically accept.
Good day, I am Mr.Song Lile, staff of Hang Seng Bank Hong Kong, I have
a business proposal of $19,500,000, for you from my bank. Finally after
that I shall provide you with more details.
Email:song_li08@yahoo.com.hk
Regards,
Song Lile
These supposed business people are thinking very highly of me.
MY DEAREST,First of all, I am not your dearest, secondly, I thank you for thinking that I had something to do with yielding positive fruit, oh, and thanks for the money you're offering me, but I don't think we've ever met before, nor have we even communicated before, so I don't think I would have managed to help you transfer your money to some Italian bank (unless this was in a past life, of course, though I have no memory of this). Oh, and you were never my bosom friend. Who do you think you are? Shakespeare?!
WITH GREAT GRATITUDE TO YOUR EFFORTS, I AM INFORMING YOU THAT I HAVE FINALLY SUCCEEDED IN TRANSFERRING THE FOURTY TWO MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS TO A BANK IN ITALY.
NEVERTHELESS, I CAN'T FORGET YOU, ESPECIALLY YOUR HONEST EFFORTS, THOUGH IT DID NOT YIELD POSITIVE FRUIT, BUT I STILL APPRECIATE IT, THANKS.
MEANWHILE I HAVE A SURPRISE PACKAGE FOR YOU.I NEED YOU TO CONTACT MY ASSISTANT IN SOUTH AFRICA HIS NAME IS MR.KARABO ZUMA, ON HIS EMAIL ADDRESS AT karabozuma@live.com
BECAUSE I HAVE INSTRUCTED HIM TO DIRECT YOU ON HOW YOU WILL RECEIVE THE SUM OF (FIVE MILLION EIGHT HUNDRED UNITED STATES DOLLARS), WHICH I SET OUT FOR YOUR COMPENSATION.
PLEASE ACCEPT IT IN GOOD FAITH. I REALLY APPRECIATE ALL YOU DID, AND I PRAY THAT WE'LL MEET ONE DAY. BUT RIGHT NOW I HAVE TO LIE LOW FOR SOME TIME, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. SO FEEL FREE AND GET IN TOUCHED WITH MR KARABO ZUMA.
TRUST IN GOD AND ALL WILL BE WELL WITH YOU.
I REMAIN YOUR BOSOM FRIEND,
ALHAJ OSMAN KABILA
These emails make me laugh, but seriously, who has the time to write up these things and send them?! If these emails were real, I would be a very rich woman right now. Sigh. If only they were real.
