Someone Shoot Me

The process of subject selections has confirmed that my school is run by a bunch of lunatics. Yes, it enforces a bunch of stupid rules that are not only pointless, but in effect, cause us, the students, to suffer!

I don’t see why they won’t let me do one extra unit. I'm just asking for ONE! I don’t want to do Religion. Didn’t they tell us to pick subjects that we like, ones we enjoy, and ones that will benefit us in the future?! Religion doesn’t fit into any of those categories!

Unless you go to my school, you’d probably be wondering why I’m forced into doing Religion, because surely, no other school makes their students do exactly 12 units. No more, no less.

I want to do Maths Extension I. I really do. I am not going to drop that. So, since the school thinks I am too stupid to do English Extension I (I’m not disagreeing), I am forced into doing a 1 unit subject. The only available options are Religion or Fundamentals of English, which is only available for Standard English.

And I am hoping that I’d get into Advanced. No, I will refuse to do Standard. I am totally capable! Stupid school. If I was in any other school, I bet they’d let me do Advanced.

Subjects I am considering: English, Maths, Maths Ext I, Chemistry and Physics. I need another three units. One of which will have to be Religion.


ARGHS this whole subject selections thing is stressing me out. I am mentally incapable of making such a potentially life-changing choice at the moment. I am still too clueless, and I have a change it future plans every two weeks or so.

If you asked me what I wanted to be two weeks ago, I would've said 'advertising executive!' without pausing. But now, I have recently discovered that UTS has raised its requirement UAI for Visual Communications from 93-point-something to 95.9. I CANNOT GET THAT. Not to mention, the International Studies degree I wanted to get with that requires a 99.90. I am POSITIVE I will not get that.

So now I am cluelessly drifting around trying to figure out my future.

One thing I know is that I'm doing design & technology and music. No one can stop me. I also plan to do chemistry, but that's where the certainty ends.

I am too chicken to do 3u Maths and English. I know I can if I wanted to, but I don't think I want to. Sure, it sounds flashy, but I am told that it's all about the ranking. Right now, I am only average in the top English and Maths classes. I think I would prefer to be top in a slightly lower class.

And if I were to do Standard Maths and Advanced English, then I can take in another subject, like French or Ancient History, both of which I really want to do.

Many people disagree. They tell me it's a waste of brain, and I could do it if I really tried.

But I don't think I can if my heart isn't really in it.

I have a feeling I'm going to regret whatever my decision is. If I choose the harder units, I will forever be thinking 'I should've chosen something easier. Then I wouldn't be only average.'

But if I choose the easier subjects, I will eternally wonder if I am not using my full potential. Sigh.

Can't we just delay these decisions for another couple of years or so?

Asian Parents

The whole issue of the Asian Parent came up in English the other day, and everyone has complaints about their own. I suppose not all Asian parents are study-orientated- that's just a stereotype. I mean, when I used to go to a Catholic school, there were few other Asian kids in my grade, and their parents aren't anything like the parents of the kids who go to my school now (yes. An Asian-infested Selective school.)

But I think that most parents just want their kids to do what they (the parents) never had the chance to do. I guess being a doctor is a popular choice amongst Asians, but many parents also pressure their kids to excel in other areas, like music, sports or acting (just think of the stage/soccer-mums.)

The thing is, many adults want to live through their children. It's not exactly fair, but that's the reality. They give us the opportunity to do things at an early age when we have not developed interests yet, but I think parents should stop pressuring their teenagers to do something if they clearly do not enjoy it. If the kids do enjoy it, then it's fine. For example, my parents made me go piano lessons when I was four, and even though I would've preferred to go playing with my dolls back then, I do thoroughly enjoy playing the piano and music in general now. So I'm appreciative that my parents have gotten me into the whole music thing.

But I know people who, like me, were given the opportunity to learn a musical instrument at a young age, and who absolutely hate it. Not as they were a kid. Like right now. When they are old enough to be able to make their own decisions. But their parents pressure them to finish what they've started.

I know all parents (okay, not all. But most.) have their children's best interest at heart, but as they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

I hope that if I happen to grow up to be an under-achiever, and generally a loser, I will not force my children into doing what I never achieved. Because everyone should have the choice to follow their own dreams, and not that of their parents.

Mandyball

I know her PM says "happy birthday brenda", but guess what? Surprise surprise, it's also her own birthday! So in celebration of Mandy getting another year closer to death, let's take a trip down memory land and bring back the good times. (This is Jenny Lam by the way. Whatever I say will be in THIS COLOUR from this point forward.)

In the (almost) four years of knowing you, one of my earliest (and fondest) memory of you was in Year 7, Mr C's English class, when you, Susan and I were doing our own very unique version of Shakespeare's Merchant of Venice. (And this is Theresa. I bags black for this post ^^)

Narrator: next is the not so handsome, not so rich Bassanio! Of course he’s going to choose the right ice cream because there’s only one left
Bassanio: knock knock knock
Narissa: get ready to meet your husband Portia! (opens door) hello, come in, come in! come right this way!
(walks to where Portia is)
Bassanio: hey dudette!
Portia: hey dude (turns to Narrisa) he’s cool
Narissa: (clicks tongue and rolls eyes)
Bassanio: so, whaddo I have to do
Portia: well, there’s only 1 ice cream left so you have to be my husband. Stuff the ice creams
Bassanio: can I still eat it though?
Portia: sure! Let’s share!
(both eat ice cream piggishly)
Narissa: I guess some people were just meant for each other! (sighs)

Remember that? I still ROFL so hard it hurts, reading that.

Oh, and remember that unsuccessful radio play we did?

Narrator- Ok…anyway, this show is only going to have 3 people liking this girl, but there’s one more character, Jack.
Jack- Wow! Piers looks wonderful…oohhh…I wish I looked like that…oohhh…
Narrator- Enough with the oohhhs man! But lets get to the point, Jack is…gay. No one knows this ugly secret, which is bad, because Jennifer…has feelings…for him…
Narrator: The kids are at Lockerville high school, *sound of playground* in the playground & …Adam is on duty. We’ll now listen to their conversation…
Jennifer- Hey guys, do you like my hair?
Piers: I like every single part of you and your body. *drools*

Back then when we were young and stupid, we thought we could end our play by all breaking into chorus and singing our stupid song about drugs. Only, when it was time to perform, everyone was too nervous and ended up staring at each other and coughing. God that was a disaster.

Then there was Year 8. Remember that stupid Snails play we did for French?

Hunter: Zat stupid chef iz always making me go and get ‘iz stupid snails. Bah!
[ Ninja Mailman Snail suddenly glides along in lightning snail speed ]
Hunter: OH MY GOD! OH MY BUDDHA! DON’T TELL ME. WAS zAT zE ULTRA RARE NINJA MAILMAN SNAIL??? I MUzT CATCH IT!!!
[ Tries running but trips over fibreglass snail ]
Hunter: HOLY SHEET METAL! IT IZ ZE RARE FIBREGLASS SNAIL!! I GOTTA GET THAT TOO!!!
[ takes out bazooka and aims at fibreglass snail. Rethinks ]
Hunter: hmm…. Too big, hardly any meat will be left …
[ takes out rifle ]
Hunter: Perfect!
[ Bang! Puts stunned fibreglass snail in sack ]
Hunter: one snail down, 2 species to go.

It seems that our early years are marked with stupid scripts and embarrassing plays. I still cringe every single time I think about that snail movie of ours.

Enough about school work. Remember the time when we still used to sit in front of the French Staffroom and were constantly pelted with cricket balls? You used to join us in attempts to rid of the cricket-guys (as we so often liked to call them). We collected a bunch of flower petals and climbed all the way up to the second floor of F-block and chucked them out in hopes that the people underneath would be scared off by a beautiful falling petals display. That obviously didn't help, but we've long been kicked out of that place and now sit on the silver benches against the F-block wall. That doesn't mean we don't get pelted by balls anymore though. We need a new method.

Tuesday afternoons with you is always something to look forward to. Whether it's our version of Uno, or trying to unsnap Sophie's bra, you're always a lot of fun to be around, and looking back at all the good times I've had with you, I can't help but to laugh. Only one more year and you can drive (and increase the risk of dying for everyone on the road ^^). Did you know it's LJ Hooker's birthday today? LOL just thought you should know.

And yes, have a very

BIG
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MANDY :)

Doesn't that remind you of the card we (or Jenny Nguyen) wrote for you? If you look carefully, you'll notice that the letters get bigger and bigger in size, slant up towards the top of the page, and has a weirdo looking '^' thing in the middle of nowhere. Oh, and there's also only one signature because Jenny Nguyen thinks she represents the whole group. Don't be convinced by her.

Oh, and in case you were wondering why this post for you is titled 'Mandyball'... well, honestly, I have no idea. Ask Jenny.

My only defence is that it was the first thing that popped in my head when I thought of 'Mandy'. I have no idea why, I'm not even in your PE group. Anyways, you can blame Theresa for agreeing with it.

Mandy, enjoy being 15. We hope you like your present, and we love you!

The Stupid Me II

Because I am so unoriginal and have nothing else to talk about, I've stolen, no, borrowed Theresa's idea of making a list of the stupid things I used to believe:

1. Someone told me, I have no idea know who, that babies came naturally. I always thought it was all part of being an adult and it was inevitable… like chickenpox, they just come.

2. Oh, and babies came out from belly-buttons. That makes sense, right?

3. I used to think teachers all lived at school. Oh, and I also used to think that the principal was the owner of all teachers, sort of like their mother.

4. I also thought that if you swallowed a seed, a tree would grow out of our backside.

5. A friend of mine walked into the classroom with her arm in a sling around her neck. She told me she broke her arm, so I asked why it was still connected to her shoulder.

Poor me.


Related Posts: The Stupid Me

Desperately Needing Help

Okay I have a problem. I've been thinking about it desperately for the past 4 hours or so, only to reach no conclusion. So I've decided to ask the public for advice.

The formal is 5 months and 4 days away, and I realise that it is way too early to go looking for dresses already, but I can't look for the dress before the formal because we have too many exams, so I intend on buying /designing+making my dress in the upcoming holidays.

So I was looking around for ideas and inspiration, when I came across the most beautiful dress ever:

Only, I wouldn't have all the sparkly stuff. My version would be dark sea green with black lace on the bodice and maybe some at the bottom. Problem is, its way too long. I could make it touch the floor, but that would still be too long. And why not just simply make it knee-length you ask? Because it'd look hideous. Can you imagine that dress knee length? HIDEOUS I tell you.

But that's the problem. The dress is beautiful, but its too long. So I can either:

a) Make that the dress for my Year 12 formal, which is more important and more formal clothes are required. But I'd have to think up a new idea for this year's formal dress, and I can't wear this astonishing compliments-guaranteed dress. Or
b) Wear this dress. Look great. Figure out a dress for Year 12 later. Suffer having to wear a super long dress where most other people would be wearing a knee-lengthed dress.

So. What to do?

The Stupid Me

All little kids believe stupid things, but I have a list (yes! I love lists!) of stupid things I used to believe. No, not the common things like babies coming out of cabbage plants, or that unicorns really existed. My beliefs were more stupid than what most kids usually believe.

Ready?

1. I used to believe that Santa Claus existed, and that he climbed through the window behind my Christmas tree to deliver my presents. And that he brought along a tool kit, including a screwdriver, just so he can unscrew my window sill and climb in.

2. My cousin (who was 8 at the time, and I was 6), told me that her friend fell pregnant from kissing her boyfriend, and I actually believed her. I don't see why I could've possibly believed her. I mean, what eight year old kid has a boyfriend? And furthermore, what eight year old girl would kiss her boyfriend, if she had one?! I see no logic in the thoughts of my six year old self. Of course, back then, I hadn't learnt of the birds and the bees yet, and knew nothing about sex.

3. And when I finally did learn about the birds and the bees in Year 6, I thought that sex was a torturous act which couples engaged in, only to make babies, and for no other reason. Because there is no pleasure in doing something so disgusting. They must've only 'did it' for the sake of their baby.

4. I also believed that pinching your nose while sneezing would cause the air to push back down your windpipe, causing all your insides to toss around, and eventually explode.

5. Once in Year 4 when I managed to save $550, I thought that I was the richest, most accomplished person my age, and that no other kid my age could possibly dream of even owning that amount of money. I was such an idiot. Funny thing is, I have less money now than I had then. It's not very funny, now that I think of it. It's actually pretty sad...

America Is SUCH A Bitch

It's been nagging me for weeks now, and I simply must share it to the world this instance. You can blame it on my science tutor. He absolutely detestes the Americans, and it's starting to rub off on me now.

I'm sure there must have been some exaggeration in his stories, and half of them are probably lies to get my class to join him in his rebellion against America, so correct me if I'm wrong.

I mean, the Americans must have done something for this world right? Not that I can think of any from the top of my head, but they must have done something good, otherwise their American-ness wouldn't have seeped throughout the world. I have America to thank, for the Donut King chocolate cream eclair which I'm eating as I'm typing this up.

And maybe I'm not being very fair to all Americans. They are all nice people. Well the ones I know anyways. I think I should probably blame the US Government.

According to my science tutor, the US has somehow bamboozled every single government in the world to sign a contract of some sort, which states that they may not sue the American government. Thats pretty far-fetched. I'm not even sure if it's true. It probably isn't. Well I hope it isn't real. Because if it is, the world is doomed.

I know that some of my teacher's stories aren't true. He once told me that the Americans have made a cobalt bomb capable of blowing up the world 10 times over, and that was untrue. But the contract thing sounds slightly more do-able.

I also heard that the American government is slowly buying all the petroleum in the world, and when the whole world runs out, the Americans will use their petroleum to gain world domination.

Again, that is very far-fetched, but you know, it's nice to know these things in case they are real, then we can start moving to American to be on their side. Then we'll have a secure supply of petroleum, and we won't be the ones attacked with nuclear weapons.

Seriously, someone should give all the world leaders a lesson or two on sharing.

Jenny

Jenny likes reminiscing, Moleskines, her yellow truck, Chuck Bass, swooning over collections on the runway, long train rides, surprises, spontaneity, meaningful gifts, being easily amused, festivity, making and completing to-do lists, nice boys, and romantic things that makes her squeal.

Jenny dislikes days when nothing in her wardrobe seems to look right, being unable to fund her ever growing wish list, being put on the spot, symptoms of school, her lack of time-management skills, standing on public transport, shopping trolleys, and being unable to find toilets.

Jenny goes high on excessive yoghurt consumption, silly plans that never work out, match-making, and emptying her bank account.

Jenny dreams of big things- like being able to fly, and of one day winning the Nobel Peace Prize. She is also waiting on the day she graduates from high school so she can earn big bucks everyday for doing nothing. She hasn't quite figured the logic behind that yet, but that's to come.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why earmuffed.com?
It's an inside joke, but long story short: we're crazy.

But I have time for a long story! Tell me!
Okay, if you insist on it. Because earmuffs are such cute, underrated accessories, and because being earmuffed is so much fun. As in, not being able to hear anything, whilst having warm ears.

I think I saw you guys the other day on the streets doing __________________
No you didn't. We are wheely-chair potatoes, and we sit in front of the computer all day, stalking cute guys. We never go out. You must be mistaken.

Do you still blog individually?
No, we've abandoned our blogs since earmuffed.com launched. Our ex-blogs are still in tact though, so feel free to visit them:
Find Jenny's old blog at: http://itsxjenny.blogspot.com
Find Theresa's old blog at: http://x3theresa.blogspot.com

I spotted one of your 'I ♥ earmuffed.com' buttons the other day. Where can I buy one?
Sorry to break it to you, but we only have 6 of those button badges roaming around. Only very very special people get them, and no, they are not for sale. We'll make more if someone gives us a badge-machine.


When did you start earmuffed.com?
On Friday the 13th of June 2008.

Who hosts your website/provides your domain?
Our blog is hosted by blogger.com, and our domain was registed at godaddy.com

I heard about your dandelion company. Where can I get more info about that?
Oh that thing. That's like long dead, but the remnants of it remains at: http://fieldsofdandelions.blogspot.com

I want to contribute to your fantabulous website!
If you want to help out in any way, drop us an email and we'll figure out something. Of course, we're not going to pay you. But if you really want to do layouts / be a contributing blogger / be our personal slaves, then by all means, drop us an email.

Where can I send hatemail to you guys?
Well you can always try the 'Contact Us' section, but if you want to send it specifically to our hatemail inbox (yes, we actually have an inbox dedicated to our hatemail), feel free to email your angst to hatemail@earmuffed.com. Creative insults are highly recommended. They make us laugh.

Can I go out with you?
We're both single and straight, so if you're extremely hot and/or cute, loaded with money, drive a Jaguar and own a house with a swimming pool, why not?

Can I marry you?
Ditto, plus a long term relationship.

I want your wardrobe. Where do you guys get your clothes from?
Everywhere. Literally. Chain stores (Forever New, Bardot, etc etc), department stores (Myer, David Jones and other flashy places, though rarely), high-end stores (LOL usually at factory outlets, we're not that rich), ebay, markets, second hand stores, EVERYWHERE.

What ambitions do you have for earmuffed.com?
We don't really have one set goal. It changes a lot- one moment we want to target our direct school mates, and eventually take over the school. The next moment, we plan on targetting fashionistas from overseas, and eventually taking over the fashion world. It depends really, but our ambitions usually relate to taking over a population of people. Ambitious goals, we know.

Would you rather be chased by a flock of goats or a flock of sheep?
Sheep please, don't goats have horns? If the flock of animals managed to catch up to us, a goat would shove its horn into our backs- and that would hurt a lot. Hold on a sec- do goats have horns?! Whatever, sheep are fluffy. So flock of sheep it is. Oh, and goats have beards.

How can I stalk you guys?
We are both very mysterious, unpredictable and strange people. Stalking us would be a difficult task, not to mention a very dangerous one. It is not recommended.

The Earmuffed Story

Earmuffed.com was born on Friday the 13th of June, 2008. It was a spontaneous decision, one that was reached after about 8 seconds of thoughtful discussion and consideration between Jenny and Theresa. (Sadly, Jenny has more important commitments to fulfil at the moment, and wont be back until further notice.)

We like to think of earmuffed.com as our accident baby that we have grown to love greatly. You know, like those kinds of babies you get after a night of too much alcohol and hot, hot sex with random and strange men. Earmuffed.com was conceived in a similar manner, except we were high on sugar, not alcohol. And sadly, there was no hot, hot sex.

Continuing the comparison, blogging on earmuffed.com is like raising a child. It's an adventure. But the baby is pretty whacked up and a little bit cuckoo (like most accidental-babies grow up to be).

We feed earmuffed.com with stories and anecdotes on our daily lives, heaps and heaps of pictures, musings and daydreamings on clothes, shoes, and more shoes, and sometimes very heated rants. Needless to say, earmuffed.com is indeed, a very fat baby.

Earmuffed.com will no doubt, continue to grow into a lovely, self-accomplished person, and we'd like to think of you as an on-going contributing influence who is helping us raise it. You'd be like the godmother or great uncle who gives the nice presents and bakes the yummy cupcakes.

Email Us

Got a question to ask? Want to drop by and say g'day? Or do you simply want to express your hatred for us? Whatever your reasons, feel free to send us an email, and we'll try to get back to you as soon as possible. Spam us and you'll find yourself being kicked where the sun don't shine. Very hard too. Enough to make you fly way past jupiter.

Name:

Email Address:

Message:

Theresa

Theresa is sixteen year old extravaganista who dwells in Sydney (when she isn't dwelling her own mind). She enjoys soaking in rain, she doesn't eat meat but loves drinking milk, and despite the Asian stereotype, she does not use chopsticks to eat.

She has an intense love for olives, as well as watching people in their cars while stuck in traffic, reading 'Frankie' and 'Lula', Sofia Coppola, Alexander McQueen, white chocolate, tall shoes, short queues (but prefers no queues), Moschino, happy endings in Audrey Hepburn films, Marc Jacobs, turning the aircon to freezing temperatures so she can use the blanket in summer, Tchaikovsky, Chopin, accordians, art museums, all things French, lacy lingerie, trying on pretty dresses in shops with no intention of buying them, pink Volkswagen Beetles, and early mornings.

She dislikes small talk, chopsticks, narrow-minded people, first impressions, and creativity shortages.

Find me elsewhere:
Twitter
Formspring
Tumblr: Butterfest
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A Moment For History

Wow. The official first post of earmuffed.com. This is a moment in time that will go down in history. A moment that I will look back upon for years to come. Yes. I will. My memory isn't that bad, okay? I will remember this day.

Now, what better to start this new website than making a list? I love making lists. (This is Theresa by the way, for those of you who haven't recognised my style of blogging yet.) Okay, lets start, shall we?

9 Reasons Why Jenny + Theresa Is So Much Better Than Theresa or Jenny Alone.

1. Because this blog won't ever go dead. No week will exist without at least one of us blogging at least once. And if one person feels a lack of motivation to go on, the other person can slap them silly.

2. Because we'll stop repeating each other, and people who read both our blogs won't find themselves reading and looking at the same content over and over again.

3. Because Jenny's smartness and my stupidness will combine and we'll make a neutral website. Because a too smart or too stupid website is no good. No, not at all. [Jenny's note: I think the roles should be switched. I'm the stupid one here~]

4. Because we can comment on each other's opinions directly in the post, which gives more perspective to each post.

5. Because it gives our posts more momentum. Once, Jenny, Jenny N and I set up this fake blog where we pretended to be this gay bi-sexual 16 year old guy named Ben, and each day, we'd make up a scenario for his terribly difficult life. It was so much fun. [Jenny's note again: Theresa, are we meant to tell anyone?]

Now I'm going to drop out and go to bed and let Jenny continue the rest of this post :)


Jenny here!

Do you see it? Did you see what just happened?! We just switched roles :) Now I'm writing. This leads to the next reason...
6. Because you can have one person drop out and have the other continue!

7. Because it's much more fun on our behalf, so you benefit from that with funner posts to read. Follow my logic?

8. Because it makes life easier for YOU. You can access two blogs under one domain :)

9. Because Jenny is cool, and Theresa is cool. Therefore, Jenny + Theresa = SUPER COOL! Make sense?

There you go. Nine reasons. I can't possibly think of anymore.

And this is the end of our first post. I'm excited for this blog!