Now I'm a Burnt Cookie

As soon as I reached home, I scrubbed myself down five times and haven't felt cleaner in days. I've had five days of sunscreen, salt, chlorine, dead skin, and probably children's piss building up on my skin. Not that I didn't shower when on holidays, it's just that I couldn't fit a loofah in my 15kg luggage limit.

But we're getting ahead of ourselves now, let me continue where I last left off...


Why yes I was talking literally. My cousin captured yours truly BLOGGING HER HEART AWAY by the pool in the middle of the night. If you squint hard enough, you might see the crazy thrashing psycho in the background.

Oh, and here's a picture I somehow managed to miss out on last time:

I love my camera's super fast shutter speed.

Something I may have not mentioned in the last post- SHOPPING. I may have mentioned it now that I think of it. I'm not thinking straight, DID I TELL YOU ABOUT HAVING TO SLEEP ON THE SAME BED WITH MY SISTER? Now that I think of it, I may have mentioned that too. But the point is- I've had very little sleep, and too much sand and chlorine in my ears, so excuse me if it takes a few weeks to regain oriented thinking.

Anyway, I was talking about shopping. HOLY SKRZYNECKI THE SHOPS AT SURFER'S PARADISE ARE AMAZING. All the shops are huge and theres so much stock and everything is like 80% off literally. No seriously. I blew an unanticipated huge amount of cash on clothes and fluffy sleeping robes and lingerie.

Here is a visual example of what I'm talking about. LOOK AT THOSE PRICES. That was the entire store. AMAZING RIGHT. Next year when I go up to the Gold Coast again, I'm going to come armed with a couple of thousand dollars and oh boy will the economy at Surfer's Paradise soar.


Though some of the shops at Surfer's are questionable. Case in point- Condom Kingdom. No seriously, I didn't photoshop that picture. On the store window, there's a giant cartoon of a yellow condom wearing a cowboy hat with a face and arms and legs and all. And I would've taken a picture of the store's contents but I didn't want my readers to think I had actually stepped inside the store, so I refrained.


Oh and guess who I passed on the street? Why yes, it's Frankenstein's monster. My sister and I became well acquainted with him, though I'm still confused as to why he has a skeletal hand on a leash. They sure didn't have that in the book, unless I fell asleep when the magical moving skeletal hand made its appearance.


And on the plane back today, there were actually CLOUDS. Cute little dainty ones too, like the ones you see in cartoons. So I CAPTURED THEM. OH YES I DID. LOOK:

Oh, and I also love the shape of the coast. It looks like someone took a massive bite out of the east coast.

Aaah and before I leave, I have to show you my new best friend- Pet Rock. Well actually he's my sister's best friend. But after my sister almost drowned him, then lost his fine mane of pink fuzz, and THEN misplaced his right googly eye, he fleed from her. Actually he couldn't flee because technically he doesn't have legs. Okay I'm getting carried away, let's get back to the story. Pet Rock and I had many adventures. Here are my favourite ones:

Pet Rock, frolicking amongst the sand and shells.


Pet Rock's newly found headpiece.


Pet Rock embracing his religion. Note: his now bald head. Also note: his new very appropriate headpiece.

Pet Rock drying off after almost drowning.

You can probably tell that I'm in a really silly mood right now. It's probably a mixture of lack of sleep, too many oreos, and the fact that I just skipped tutor. I HOPE THIS DOESN'T MAKE ME A BAD GIRL. Anyway woah I just looked down at my arm and was once again surprised at how brown I was. I'm not a half-baked cookie anymore. I think I can officially pass as a fully-baked cookie now. Or maybe an even slightly burnt one. OH HO you should see my ridiculous tan lines. I really should take tan-line shape into consideration before purchasing swimsuits next time.

ANYWAY, I still have 70 emails to read and around 500 blog posts to read. HURRAH I'M HOME.

Actually I take that back. Home sucks. The weather sucks. School is coming. That sucks too.

Sand In My Sea-Panties

HEY GUYS LOOK I found the internet!!! Even though it came with many many restrictions (no more than 1mb of pictures! Don't touch facebook!). The laptop battery is about to run out, I'm sitting by a pool and I think this guy is having an epileptic fit in the pool. I mean, he's thrashing and splashing a LOT of water everywhere, and I'm scared that any second now, he'll move a little too close and I'd get electrocuted by my laptop. Oh, and have I mentioned that its 9pm here? Yeah, theres some guy thrashing around the pool at this time. Crazy.

Anyway, okay here's a summary of my past three days:

My family decided to crazily arrive at the airport two hours early. My cousins and I lost ourselves in a bunch of overpriced airport stores, found a humongous Popular Penguin shelf and went crazy stroking the spines of those dear matching orange covers. Yum. THEN, we realised we were late and crazily ran (in high heels no less!) to our airport gate. We were kind of hoping the airport ladies would call out our name over the loudspeakers, though unfortunately (or maybe fortunately depending on how you look at it) we made it without much delay.







Then we basically did what normal tourists do when they visit Gold Coast- swimming in pools, exfoliating by the beach, shopping and visiting the WORLDS. Unfortunately, all my memories have fuzzed up. Here are the highlights:

- Being mistaken for a non-english speaking tourist. Actually that's not really a highlight. It's actually very insulting. E.G. Two guys approached my cousin Rosa, held their hands out for her very expensive Canon DSLR camera, and said (in mock-Asian accents)- "Me. Camera? Photo? PHOOOOTOOO? PHOTO!"

- Getting unfortunate tanlines as a result of monokinis and one-shouldered swim suits

- Literally shopping til we drop. All the stores stock a huge variety of stuff at ridiculously cheap prices. It's crazy, don't they know anything about taking advantage of tourists?!

- Going on ALL THE RIDES at Wet 'N' Wild World today and burning my feet. Seriously, the ground was like 100 degrees. CELCIUS. It was like exposed to the sun THE WHOLE DAY and they expected us to walk on it barefoot!!! There weren't even sprinklers or anything to cool the path down. We basically just ran from shadow to shadow, shrieking 'HOT HOT HOT OW MY FOOT!' between each shadow.

- Countless barbeques at the hotel barbeque with a huge variety of crazy meats (my family is crazy, no wonder I'm a vegetarian). Last night we had deer. Tonight was cow tongue. (Side story: just then my cousin was watching me type and she was like 'HM WHAT AN AWKWARD QUESTION IT MUST BE TO ASK' and I go 'what question', so she's like 'DO YOU LIKE TONGUE?' *seedy expression* *licks lips*)

AND, more memorable stuff caught on camera:



Crazy luvo-fest with my sister on the plane


Most amazing view of the coast from the plane

Eeee my hotel looks like the leaning tower of Pisa except its perfectly vertical



Moi, Maria & Rosa


Night view from my window


TEEHEE moon-bathing by the pool

Pretty outfit pictures from the pool at night


What I wore: White knitted dress- Fahrenheit (from some cheapy shop), Singlet from Supre, belt from Ally, necklaces from Portmans and Lumiere.



LOL Had to show you guys this! My cousin Kevin, all blown up in the spa


OOH ALSO HAD TO SHOW YOU THIS- Me riding a whale. YES A WHALE. Even though it's blown up, thats still pretty impressive


Biggest scoop of icecream I've ever consumed

And the biggest lizard I've ever seen.

We have heaps planned for the next two days. TOMORROW, my cousin is driving us around to find all the second hand stores, as well as visiting GALLERIA!! Then we might go Movie World or Sea World, and I'll probably go swimming and become as wrinkly as a testicle sacks (is it possible, if you immerse yourself long enough in water, to be permanently wrinkly? THat's what I'm afraid of. I think it's happening. I swear my skin is wrinklier now than it was my entire life).

But yes, I'm just dropping by very quickly (there are many naggy annoying cousins waiting to use the internet next) to let you guys know I'M ALRIGHT. I haven't drowned or dehydrated from drinking too much salt water or been gang bashed by a group of bogans. Though I am the colour of a half-cooked cookie and my face has turned the shade of my Apple Of My Eye red nailpolish, and my feet are practically burnt and I don't ever get a full night's sleep because I have to share a bed with my sister, and OH HO DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THAT.

ANYWAY BYE, MY COUSINS ARE ABOUT TO THROW ME INTO THE POOL.

OH P.S. Sorry for all the dodgy grammar spelling mistakes, I had to type this fast. And I also forgot a lot of photos, I'll upload them when I'm home. And also the quality of the pictures are terrible, sorry.

A Rather Lengthy Post

I'm feeling wordy and distracted, and I haven't blogged in almost a week so I'll treat you guys to a fat post loaded with words and photos to make up for it.

Other than catching up on my mound of homework, a lot of other stuff has happened. First off, I wandered the city with Van on Saturday. We were only supposed to go for a couple of hours, then drop by to this party but it got postponed. Which was a good thing, because when you pair me (notoriously and unfortunately never on time), and Van (cursed with every awkward situation known to man), you get very unfortunate untimely adventures.

First off, there was trackwork on my station. One thing lead to the next, I eventually reached a strange station and jumped on a random train, thinking 'at least I'm moving, even if it's to the wrong place...'. Only to find out that I was on Van's train. Now you'd think we'd have reached a happy ending. I mean, we've found each other right, now we head out to Circular Quay and have a fabulous day out. Wrong. We somehow both went on the same WRONG TRAIN, and only realised when we were in Paddington. Which is waaaaaaaaaaaay north of our destination.

Then we were stalked by a scary Asian lady, her middle aged Aussie friend, and their compact camera. No seriously, I was not imagining. We were in a SECLUDED PLACE WITH NOTHING GREAT TO CAPTURE ON A CAMERA. Other than us, but we weren't that good of a spectacle, I dont think. So anyway, they started following us when we tried to escape, and we ended up running in our heels, poking heaps of holes in grass and almost dying in the process.

AND THEN, Van managed to lose her phone. We retraced our steps, we called her phone 50 times, we even went through my camera's photos to see if we could spot her phone, and hence track down its possible location. A few exhausting hours later, her mum calls my phone. Which really frightens me now that I think of it, how on earth does Van's mother have my mobile number?!? But anyway, it turns out a foreign (hopefully sexy European) man was just about to leave the country when he found Van's phone. So he called Van's mum to tell her he left it at the info desk because his flight was due and he didn't have time to find us. Which is kind of a shame. Only if he was a sexy European man under 25 that is.

Accompanying photos:

Starbucks drinks that I suspect were POISONED. I dont know, my Starberries&Cream frapuccino was disgustingly sweet and induced nausea after three sips. And we poured 5 satchets of sugar into Van's iced latte, to the point that it was LITERALLY SATURATED in sugar, and it was still bitter.



Magic staircase that lead to this beautiful park, where we took a giant batch of silly photos:

"Fish face"


"Teeny-Bopper faces"


One of the many winking photos we took, where we were actually in sync.


HAHA WE LOOK LIKE GIANT HEADS STUCK ON BABY BODIES IN THESE


Before we left, I dragged Van to the Lindt Cafe to pick up some macaroons so we could try them:

1 Peach and 1 Vanilla and 3 strawberry macaroooooooooons.


THEY ARE HEAVENLY. Even though they kind of cracked and melted by the time I got home. BUT OH MY GOD. YOU WILL NOT UNDERSTAND UNTIL YOU TRY THESE.

What I was expecting: crumbly sugary biscuit-like things
What I got: heaven in your mouth. No seriously. Let me describe the sensation to you: first your mouth envelopes the macaroon and your teeth sinks into it, cracking through the super-thin egg-like sugary shell both top and bottom. Then you slid through the gooey, spongey fruit-flavoured meringue-like mushy stuff, then through the thick creamy ganache, until your teeth finally meet again and the bite you took melts in your mouth. I only bought 5 but I'm majorly regretting it right now.

Other things that have happened over the past two days:

• I think I'm suffering from some sort of HSC-induced insomnia. I wake up at 7-8 every morning, do school work, go to work late into the night (usually until 11:30), get home and shower, finally sleeping at around one or two in the morning, then I wake up again at the same time the next morning. No matter what I've done the day before, how many cans of Pepsi I've drunk, or how many nosebleeds I've suffered during the night.
  
• I drove for the very first time yesterday, almost six months after I bothered to get my license. AND BOY AM I GLAD, I don't think I would have had the brain power to drive 6 months ago, let alone now. I was driving in a deserted carpark at 3 in the afternoon on a sunny summer day, and I almost died countless times. When I panicked, I'd do the wrong thing (accelerate instead of brake, vice versa), signal the wrong way, turn the wrong way when reversing, tangle my hands up when steering rapidly on sharp turns, park very very crookedly, or somehow end up on the curb. I don't think I'll ever be able to drive.

Anywhos guys, I'm going to the Gold Coast in exactly seven days!!! I have a tonne of swimsuits, a giant floppy hat and my toes all painted and ready to go. I'll blog if I can bring my laptop (but right now, it's not looking so good, I really don't need an extra kilo on top of all my clothes and shoes, and I don't want to pay for extra luggage space).

Before I go, what I wore out:


Headband: self made
Heart-shaped sunnies: Equip
Gold chunky necklace: Diva
Cropped top: not idea where, the tag disappeared
Striped drapey skirt: Bardot
Patent belt: Forcast
Cagey platform heels: RMK

There's No Place Like...

Myer. Honestly, if I could permanently reside in a Myer store, I would. A few days ago after the Formal Committee executives and I finished visiting all the proposed venues, I convinced them to go Myer with me. That's when I realised that I've kind of had av lifelone unconscious (well, now its a conscious) obssession with Myer. It seems that whenever I'm with other people and there's a Myer near by, I'd visit it. I can't believe I haven't realised it until now.

Even as a kid. I REMEMBER dragging my cousins and sister into Myer when we were holidaying at the Gold Coast. We were 12 or something, and it was so much fun inventing our hypothetical lives with all the fancy hats and furniture and toys.

Okay this is starting to sound like paid advertisement, but the important thing is- I never actually spend any money while I'm at Myer. In fact, it's a TERRIBLE place to spend money! Myer is like the best place to NOT spend money. Why?

1. The PERFUME. One of my many hobbies is perfume sniffing. Even if it's not at Myer (although Myer is the best place to do it). It puts it me in a fantastic mood and all the perfume samples in my bag combines to make THE PERFECT SMELL. Then my bag, phone and wallet smell wonderful for a couple of weeks. If we got all the druggies in the world together and taught them how to sniff perfume rather than drugs, the world would be a wonderful place.

2. Everything in Myer is so clean and organised and neatly set out. It's all perfect, everything is so easy to find especially for OCD people like me who want to see and try EVERYTHING.

3. The Christmas decorations in the festive season. Myer has to have the best festive decor out of all the department stores. Oh, and they have that area DEDICATED to Christmas stuff too. It's so sparkly and flashy and there's even a giant entrance. You can hear the area screaming its festivity half a store away.

4. The furniture!! It's so nicely organised and the sales assistants don't tell you off for sitting on the couches or lying on the beds or rubbing your feet against the rugs. And they even act like they think you're completely sane when you walk around pretending you a) live there, or b) are seriously shopping for your own home.

5. The clothes and hats and and gloves and other silly accessories. They have things you wouldn't find nearly anywhere else. And you can try it on and pretend to be silly characters, and they don't look are you weirdly.

Anyway, here are a few pictures from my latest escapade to Myer:

My bag of perfume samples.


Bradley discovering that the mixture of perfume samples in my bag is PERFECT SMELLING.


Me lounging in a wonderful Louis chair.


We spent a considerable amount of time in the afternoon testing the bounciness of chairs.


And beds.


I FOUND THIS PILLBOX HAT. I GOT SO OVEREXCITED. IN FACT, I STILL AM. WHERE CAN I FIND ANOTHER ONE?? I'VE ALWAYS WANTED ONE. I look like a lollypop lady in this.




What I wore:

SES pleated top with ruffled sleeves, Ally velvet tulip skirt, Candy YSL tribute fakes, bag from somewhere I can't remember, Equip red beaded necklace, self made headband(s).

I went to Myer over a week ago, but only had time to take a proper outfit picture this morning. And as you can see, I put on the wrong headband (red instead of purple) and my skirt is disgustingly wrinkly. Oh, and I've misplaced my bag. But everything else is the same!

Sales to Break Your Nails

This may come as shocking news to some of you, but I have never, in the past 16 years of my rather short life, attended a Boxing Day sale. Until yesterday. And OH MY LORD, I AM NEVER EVER GOING AGAIN FOR AS LONG AS I SHALL LIVE. Trudging around both Myer and David Jones in the city, with hundreds or maybe thousands of other vile desperate bargain seekers, and finding NOTHING that you like, that'd fit you, that you'd pay for is not my idea of fun. But I did learn some valuable lessons in the meantime:

1. Don't wear heels. I thought wearing heels would give me the advantage of towering over people as well as being able to stab them in the foot, if a fight over a dress was to arise. But no, wearing heels makes you more likely to fall over when shoved.

2. Don't plan on spending a thousand dollars. Because you'll be disappointed (but secretly kind of relieved) when you spend less than a quarter of it.

3. Fuel up well and good. It's happened twice over the past two days now- where I decide to skip breakfast, thinking that I'll eat when I get there. But the promise of low prices is way more appealing than an empty stomach. Then I end up functioning for six hours on zero food.

4. Big bags are great. You use them as a kind of barricade against you and the people around you. You just hold it in front of you and walk through people and they just fly out of your path.

5. Be ruthless when in search of a bargain. Use your heels to step on people. Shove people aside with your bag. Pull clothes of hangers and open packaged makeup to try it on and leave tried shoes all over the floor.

Other than the fruitless five hours I spent in Myer and David Jones, I managed to score some great bargains elsewhere. Here's are some Christmas presents and purchases worth lengthening this post:


My first ever hat that actually came in a hat box!!! I'M OFFICIALLY A LAAAAAAAAAAADY NOW!




YAY fun with a floppy wide-brimmed sunhat!


LOL my shopping.


EEEEEEEEEE Siren Cage shoes for $50!!! They retail over $100, were on sale at Wanted for $100, and $70 at Myer. SCORE!!!


Cute bag with a leather teddybear charm thing I received for Christmas.


Bluebird bag + bag below purchased together for under $50 from Strandbags!



Diva Dreamcatcher necklace for only $5. Happiest purchase of the day.



Chi Chi red lipstick + lipgloss. I'm really digging fire-engine-red makeup look at the moment. I plan to write up a huge post of all my favourite beauty products soon, so STAY TUNED!


I love the names they give makeup shades. The above two colours of red are called 'Exhibitionist' and 'Fashion Victim'. Other than those, my two favourite shade names ever are 'Birthday Suit' for my nude Rimmel lipstick, and 'Apple of My Eye' for my favourite red L'Oreal nailpolish.

I bought a heap of clothing too but I didn't see the point of photographing them, since you guys are gonna see them at some point or other in outfit posts. However, I did take a picture of the dress below to commemorate my greatest score over the past two days:


Forever New bodycon dress for $30, marked down from $120. 75% OFF BROS. Not only is it insanely cheap, but I finally found the perfect little black dress to wear to my work cruise. YES, YOU HEARD RIGHT. My boss is throwing a work function on a boat, and I plan to wear my 'backup' idea that I had planned in case my first idea for the school cruise didn't work out. I'm going to end up wearing that black dress above, with scarlet pumps (Tony Bianco Dons hopefully, if they come in time), red nailpolish + red lipstick, and a huge gold statement necklace. I still have yet to find the gold statement necklace.

Anyway, I'm going to be busy for the next few days with New Years parties and working to catch up on my debt (whoops...), so expect pre-written outfit posts and random other crap.

P.S. I SPOTTED A FEW OF YOU IN DAVID JONES, hanging around the Sass and Bide racks. Except I didn't get the chance to say hi to anyone because there were like 50 other desperate shoppers between us.

P.P.S. MY FEET ARE LIKE LITERALLY BURNING. OKAY no they aren't on fire. But my veins and arteries are on fire. Or something, I don't know. The soles of my feet seriously seriously hurt. I don't know what to do. What if I get foot cancer or something. LET THIS BE A LESSON TO ALL YOU KIDDIES. DON'T WEAR HEELS OUT TO GO SHOPPING. TWO DAYS IN A ROW. It's probably the stupidest thing I've ever done.